Turning Tables
by JullietteO'Hara
Summary: He got shot for her. He almost died for her. Almost. Set post-knockout. After taking the sniper's bullet for Kate, Rick is in the hospital in a coma, leaving Kate in the real world, forced to deal with the repercussions. Then, when he wakes up with amnesia, believing he's still married to Gina and with no recollection of Kate...well you have to read to find out. (AU)
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, much to my dismay.**

**This is my first ever fan-fic, so tell me what you think and let me know if I'm missing anything. Thank you!**

She's quiet as she sobs. And whatever sounds she does make is drown out by the noise of the shower pelting her wet skin. She sat on the shower floor; her knees tucked under her chin and released the tears she struggled to hold in all day. What if she'd lost him? It would be her fault. She couldn't imagine another day without him, the guilt she would carry would end up being unbearable. She didn't know what she would do. Thankfully, that wasn't the case but it didn't stop the tears. Over and over again she reminded herself he was alive, a little bruised, but alive. It didn't help. Nor did it help that his mother said nothing. Martha didn't accuse her, she didn't shun her, she merely held her hand and cried with her. Alexis on the other hand, well, she obviously blamed her. She refused eye contact and said and did very little other than cry. But she had every right to. Kate wondered if Alexis was doing the same thing. She was a strong girl, but was she strong enough to forgive Kate for this? Kate seriously doubted it. Even she wouldn't have forgiven herself. And the sobs continued. They had no leads. They had no clue where the shooter was, let alone who. All she'd thought about throughout the entire day was what kind of theories he would be coming up with. At the thought a small smile grazed her lips. He always could make her smile, always, even when he wasn't even there. How she wished she could be there, be with him, but he wasn't even awake yet and she wanted to find answers to greet him with when he did wake up. Because he would wake up. He had to. She thought more and more. The scene replayed over and over again in her mind. Why did he have to jump in front of her? He has a family. Sure she has her dad but more people stand to lose from his death than hers. Then she remembered what he said as the life drained out of his crystal blue eyes and the sobs grew harder.

_There was a light, or maybe a reflection, coming from behind one of the tombstones. He didn't see a person but something was definitely there. Then it hit him. It was a sniper. He looked at Kate as she carried on with her speech, completely unaware, and he couldn't just stand there. A small red dot appeared on her chest and before he knew it he was on top of her, pain rippling throughout his entire body. Kate, at first was confused, then mad, but that disappeared in a second when she realized what had happened. She slid out from underneath him and carefully turned him so that he was looking at her. The pain was evident on his face. _

_"Rick! Rick, please don't leave me" she pleaded. "Please, God, please. Rick don't leave me."_

_And it was with his last ounce of strength he whispered to her, "I love you, Kate". Then his eyes closed. She called his name over and over again. Holding his hand she squeezed but he didn't squeeze back. He was still breathing, but blood began to fall from the corner of his mouth. Tears poured down her face and the paramedics had to literally rip her away. _

_The hospital was all a blur. She remembered very little before she learned he was alright other than Martha holding her hand as she cried Alexis's apparent disdain, and when Josh came out and told her he was going to be fine. He'd tried to hug her but she had pushed him away. A look of confusion, hurt, and anger crossed across his face but before she had to explain anything, she excused herself to go to the bathroom. In the solitude of her stall she threw up everything in her stomach, and continued to dry heave for what felt like hours. Lanie came into check on her and found her with her head practically in the toilet. She said nothing but rubbed small circles on her back. Eventually she stopped and rinsed her mouth out. Not wanting to join the others yet she lagged back in the bathroom while Lanie exited. Her face was tear stained as well. Kate paced in the bathroom a little while longer, trying to control her breathing with little success. Finally she managed to get a hold of herself and joined the others. _

_It was deathly silent in the waiting area. All the faces where sullen._

_Ryan pulled her aside and whispered, "Doc came out again. Said Castle has a shattered rib and the bullet punctured the lung. He got real lucky Kate, but the doctor said he's gonna be in a medical induced coma for a day or two to let the healing process start. He is alive though." The wind rushed out of Kate while relief flushed over her. Alive. Alive. Alive, was all she could think, that and those piercing blue eyes while he whispered "I love you". _

What was he thinking? Kate racked her brain of all the other things he could have said with that breath. "Tell Alexis I love her" or "Tell my family I love them", he could have said anything to them, but he chose to tell Kate he loved her. Pain stabbed her heart. She didn't say it back. Her heart screamed it no matter how much she pushed it down in her mind, but sitting in the shower, crying over him, she could at least admit it to herself. She loved him. So much it hurt. She didn't care about Josh. She only wanted Rick. But that would have to wait until another day because then all she wanted to do was sleep.

Kate stepped out of her shower into a steam filled bathroom. She threw her hair up into a bun and threw on her NYPD sweatshirt and leggings. Heat Wave was sitting on her bedside table, as she was re-reading it for the hundredth time, but Castle didn't need to know that. Then again, she thought to herself as she slid under the covers, maybe he should. Maybe she should tell him how much his writings meant to her. He was alive, so one day she could. She curled up into a ball and held Heat Wave to her chest, silent tears running down her cheeks. Her eyes finally closed but before she could be pulled into sleep there was a loud, hard knocking on the door. Kate climbed out of bed and opened the door. She didn't bother looking through the peep-hole because she had a pretty good idea of two people it would be. Josh flew through the door without Kate even inviting him in.

"What the hell Kate?" He turned to look at her, fire burning in his eyes.

"Excuse me?" she spit back at him.

"What do you mean excuse me? You almost died! You were shot at and then after I saved the life of the man that saved yours, you pushed me away. He's going to get you killed Kate."

All the anger Kate had felt in the last few days began bubbling over. She felt like she was on fire. She hated the world so much in that very second, but then she thought of those blue eyes that were always filled with hope and it melted away.

"The last time I checked he saved me from being killed. How does me being shot at seem at all like his fault? If it weren't for him I'd be dead right now. It would have been me in that ambulance, bleeding out onto that operating table. If anything, I'm going to get him killed." Then it hit her. She was going to get him killed. He needed to stop shadowing her. There were so many chances where he could get hurt. She couldn't do that to his family, she couldn't do that to herself.

"Kate?" Josh asked snapping her back into reality. The anger in his voice had dissipated and he just sounded hurt. "You were thinking about him again weren't you?" She nodded. There had been times when she and Josh had been on a date and something he'd said reminded her of a joke that Castle had made. She would start smiling like an idiot and Josh knew what or who she was thinking about. But she couldn't help it. "Do you love me Kate?" She immediately opened her mouth to say yes but stopped when she looked into his eyes. They were brown. They weren't full of hope and faith in the world. They didn't have love pouring out of them. They weren't his eyes.

"Yes," she said. He released the breath and reached into his pocket.

"Good," he said holding out his hand with an engagement ring. A giant oval cut diamond sat in his hand encircled by small square cut diamonds that continued down the band. Kate gasped. It was too big. She didn't wear a lot of jewelry and what she did wear was simple. It was evident in the ring that he didn't know her as well as he thought. He smiled at her, thinking she loved it.

"Josh," she breathed, "you didn't let me finish. You are a wonderful guy, so nice and so sweet, and I do love you, but not enough." His face fell. Anger flashed through his eyes. He sighed heavily.

"I understand, Kate. Just one thing, let him love you. You always had one foot out the door with us; don't do that to him too. Goodbye, Kate." He pocketed the ring, opened the door and walked out.

"Josh wait," Kate called to him. He stopped in the hall outside of her apartment. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around him. Her head pressed against his chest as his lips kissed the top of her head. "Thank you."

"Sure thing."


	2. Chapter 2

Alexis Castle wasn't one to break the rules. In fact, the majority of the time she had to enforce them with her father, but that night she was riding in a cab at 1:30 in the morning and was out way past her curfew. She clutched the paper with the address in one hand and her cell phone in the other. The cab driver pulled up to the apartment building and the girl paid him and stepped out. Alexis practically ran into the building and straight into the elevator. The ride up was the second longest ride of her life. The first being the ride in the hospital elevator after seeing her father getting shot.

There were so many emotions boiling inside her. Anger, confusion, sorrow, fear, but as she stepped out of the elevator and onto Kate Beckett's floor, fury was the only thing that remained. She had gone with the intention to talk, to explain. But seeing Kate wrapped up in some man's arms after her father had just taken a bullet for her, something snapped. She stepped out of the elevator, her face matching the color of her hair and walked up to the couple.

"What the hell, Kate?"

Beckett was getting really tired of hearing that. Her head shot up and she untangled herself from Josh. He walked to the elevator without a glance back. Alexis glaring at him the entire way, a glare that somewhat resembled Beckett's, with much more hatred. Alexis turned back towards Kate who met her with a look of confusion.

"Alexis, do you know what time it is? Does your d-Martha know you're here?"

"I needed to talk to you Kate and it couldn't wait," she replied icily.

"Alright then, come inside." Kate led her into the apartment and to the kitchen. "Do you need anything?" Alexis propped herself up on one of the bar stools. Kate threw some water into a tea-kettle and put it on the stove.

"I need know why I found you wrapped up in another guy after my father just took a bullet for you." She flew around to meet Alexis's eyes.

"I was thanking him for being so understanding after I broke up with him. He was just leaving." Alexis looked at her skeptically. "I don't love him like I l- I don't love him enough to marry him. He took it rather well."

"Oh."

Alexis looked down at the counter. The pair was silent, both lost in thought. Alexis didn't hate Kate. In fact she rather liked Kate. Kate was smart and fun and had even helped her out on occasion. She thought Kate was great for her dad. She was his intellectual equal and not some blonde bimbo that could barely read and only liked him because he was famous. She helped to keep him in line. However good she thought Kate was for her father, her job said something else. It was simple. Alexis didn't want her dad to shadow Kate anymore. It was too dangerous and she couldn't bear to lose him. While Alexis was contemplating exactly how to tell Kate she didn't want her dad to follow her anymore, Kate stared at the girl trying to figure out why she wasn't screaming at her.

Kate knew Alexis had every right to be furious. If she were in the girl shoes Kate would be furious. Hell, Kate was furious with herself in her own shoes. She shouldn't have put Castle in the situation. He shouldn't have even been there. He needs to stop shadowing her. But how was she going to tell him that. She knew he loved it. She knew the precinct was like his second home, but if he was dead he wouldn't have any home. She ran conversations over and over in her head about how she was going to tell him.

It was the whistle of the tea kettle that drew both ladies from their thoughts. Kate jumped but swiftly turned off the fire and poured her water into a French press.

"How did you even get my address?" Kate asked pouring herself a cup. She motioned another to Alexis but the girl shook her head.

"My dad gave me an emergency contact list. Your name and address is number one. Ryan, Esposito, and Lanie are all on the list too."

Kate's heart swelled at the thought that Castle trusted her so much with Alexis. At the remembrance of her promise to him to take care of the girl if anything happened to him. Kate felt tears form in the corner of her eyes. She blinked them away immediately. Alexis, however, grew up with a novelist as a father and learned to pick of on finite details. She noticed the glossy look of tears in Kate's eyes before she stepped into the apartment. When she saw Kate's reaction to her being her emergency contact she then fully understood Kate's feelings for her father. That only made the news she bore harder for her to say.

"Look Kate, I came here with the fully expecting to yell and scream but I can't. You're just as upset as I am and I understand you blame yourself probably more than I blame you. But this while ordeal made me realize exactly how dangerous your job is and how unqualified my dad is. I don't want him to shadow you anymore Kate."

At the end of Alexis's speech Kate felt like, for the tenth time that night, the wind was knocked out of her. She agreed with Alexis but it just hurt hearing it from someone else.

Alexis sat expecting the worst. She thought Kate would laugh and say finally, glad to be rid of him, or drag the girl put by her hair. Alexis more expected the latter. Kate sighed.

"I agree." Alexis's eyes went wide.

"You...you do?"

"Yeah. It's too dangerous for him and although I love having him around it's not safe for him. I would rather lose him as a partner than lose him altogether. It's not fair to you either. You shouldn't have to worry like this. I've been trying to figure out how to tell him."

Alexis stared at Kate. She certainly hadn't expected that.

"Me too," Alexis admitted shyly. Kate nodded.

"Then we'll double team him," Kate replied jokingly.

"Agreed."

* * *

It wasn't until an hour and a half later the girls finished their plan. They hashed and rehashed all the dangers of the job. Figured the best time to tell him was not right away but close enough to get him used to the idea. They thought of all the little things they knew would ensure his agreement. Alexis even offered to cry. Kate was having issues holding the tears back as-is, so she thought that wasn't necessary.

When the conversation ended Alexis headed for the door but Kate refused to let her leave, saying it was too late and unsafe. Alexis didn't need to be told twice, she was wary of going out that late herself. She called Martha and left a message saying she was at Kate's and would be staying the night. Kate, having no guest bedroom, offered to take the couch allowing the girl to get a good night's sleep, even though she needed one herself. Alexis did put up a fight for that one, saying it was Kate's home and she should sleep in her own bed. Kate, being as stubborn as usual refused and showed Alexis to the room.

"Bathrooms to the right, extra toothbrushes top left drawer. Anything else you need?" Alexis shook her head. "I'll be downstairs. N-Until tomorrow."

Kate found herself smiling like an idiot as she closed the door. Castle really got to her. In a good way. She plopped down on the couch and fell into a restless sleep.

Alexis surveyed the room, noting Kate's obvious taste and the fact it smelled distinctly of cherries. She lazily brushed her teeth, put on the pajamas Kate had left for her and fell into the bed. She landed on something hard. Pulling back the sheets, Alexis found the well-worn copy of Heat Wave. She leafed through the pages. Notes were written in the margins about who she thought was the killer. A couple comments to Castle about how "that's not how [the situation] went" or a joke that wasn't very funny. It was obvious Kate had read it more than once. Maybe more than ten times judging by the wear of the pages. Alexis returned the book to its nightstand and quickly fell asleep.

* * *

_"If you're lucky you'll find someone willing to stand with you." Those were her words but it wasn't her voice. She was in the cemetery where they buried Roy but she wasn't behind the podium. Castle. That's whose voice it was. That was who was behind the podium. Then she saw it. The light that she assumed Castle must have seen. He carried on, reciting her words (speech?), completely unaware of the danger. Kate knew what she had to do. The gun went off but as she tried to jump in front of Castle her feet were glued to the ground. She called out to him as his body fell back, lifeless. Her feet were no longer felt stuck and she ran to him. Crouching down in the grass she clutched his hand and lowered her face to meet his eyes. _

_"I love you, Kate," he whispered. And as the light in his eyes faded so did the world around her._

_It was dark, but she knew the alley like the back of her hand. She'd had that dream before. She called out and ran to the place she thought her mother would be but in her place was a man. His eyes lids were closed concealing the piercing blue orbs she knew lay beneath. Castle lay before her, bleeding out, dying in front of her and for the second time there was nothing she could do to save him. She tried anyway, applying pressure to a few of the many holes in his body. Tears were pouring from her eyes. _

_"Kate..." he sighed." Kate. I love you, Kate." _

_"I love you too, Rick." She said. He died with a smile on his face._

_"Rick, come back to me. Rick please," she cried. Darkness then consumed her. _

She woke up shaking on her couch drenched in a cold sweat and mumbling his name. She picked up her phone and checked the time. 5:07 stared back at her. Too afraid to sleep again she got up to go to work. Sneaking to her bedroom trying not to make any noise that would wake Alexis up, she gathered her most comfortable work clothes. In the living room she dressed, left a note for Alexis, lying saying she left around 7:30, praying the girl wouldn't be up by then, and left.

Kate's prayers went unanswered. Alexis rose around 6:15 from a nightmare herself and discovered Kate's note. Although she knew Kate didn't get nearly enough sleep she didn't want to call her on it for two reasons. The first being she didn't want to face the wrath of Beckett, the second was she wanted them to catch the man who shot her father. If another night went like that Alexis decided she would say something due to her father's nagging voice in the back of her head saying Beckett didn't get enough sleep as is. Grabbing a glass of water, she curled up on Kate's couch, turned on the television and immersed herself in 90's TV show re-runs.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Castle, much to my dismay.**

**This is my first ever fan-fic, so tell me what you think and let me know if I'm missing anything. Thank you!**

Throughout her experience as a cop, Kate Beckett found the ability to flash her badge and get in almost anywhere was one of the few perks of the job. It was with that power she was able to enter Castle's hospital room at 5 in the morning. The hospital itself, with its too white walls, reeked with the smell of death and disinfectant. It nauseated Kate, but what made her stomach really jump to her throat was the sight of Richard Castle lying in the hospital bed before her. His face was drained of all its color and there were all sorts of tubes sticking out of him. His mouth, missing its usual smirk, hung slightly open, allowing a breathing tube to pass through. Kate paused in the doorway and just listened to the sound of his heart monitor. She tried to convince herself that was the only reason she was there, reassurance that he was alive, but deep down she knew it was more than that. Her heart was surrounded by walls but somewhere there was a crack. Rick Castle used that crack to his advantage, weaseling himself inside. He was a big part of her life and although she tried to convince herself otherwise, Kate needed him. She needed his smile, his laugh, his ability to light up all aspects of her life. She couldn't suppress the overwhelming urge to just be with him and that's what scared her the most. Just the idea that she could have been completely alone, forced to live without him, gave her shivers. She eventually stepped into the hospital room.

_She stepped across the threshold of the hospital room. Martha sat to the left side of Richard, gently clutching his hand, Alexis mirroring her image on the right. Silent tears rolled down their faces. Kate inhaled deeply and gingerly placed her hand on Martha's shoulder. The older woman turned her head and it was then Kate could truly tell her age. Bags hung under her red-rimmed eyes and that special glimmer Rick shared was gone. _

_"Kate, darling, please sit. Martha released her son's hand and rose from her chair. Kate attempted to refuse but Martha heard none of it. "I'm too cooped up in here anyway. Alexis, come take a walk with me and give Kate a moment alone with your father." Martha forced a smile but it didn't make quite up to her eyes. Alexis opened her mouth but closed it. Giving once last glance at her father she squeezed his hand, rose from her chair and left the room with Martha, leaving Kate alone with Rick. She was thankful for the seat, unsure if her knees could support her much longer due to their incessant shaking. Kate hesitantly reached out for his hand. He instead held the wrist and turned his palm up to face her. With her free hand she began tracing the veins in his wrist and the lines in his hand, while humming "In My Veins". Kate took a quick look over her shoulder and when it was clear, pressed his cold hand against her cheek. It fit with her face perfectly and she almost thought there was a hint of a smile on his lips. She removed his hand and watched as a few uncontrolled tears dripped on his skin. Kate then interlaced her fingers with his. _

That was how she sat that morning. Kate whispered her theories and progressions on the case, even throwing in a few wild theories for Rick's benefit. There were a few points when she paused, ready for him to jump in with his own wild idea but never did. Kate sat with him for about an hour before she got up to leave but the gentle squeeze on her hand stopped her. His eyes were still closed and his face unchanged but the wriggling of his fingers overwhelmed Kate with joy.

She sat with him another fifteen minutes, their fingers mingling with each other. When his stopped moving she assumed he'd fallen asleep and took that as her time to leave. She couldn't help the tears that blurred her vision when she snuck a glance back at him while she walked out of the room. Kate dragged herself away from him and swore to the moon and back she'd find the man that shot him as she exited the hospital. In her cruzer she buried her head in the steering wheel and released the tears she refused to shed in front of Rick. Sure, he was unconscious but she still didn't like the idea of crying in front of him. When she was all cried out, Kate buckled her seat-belt drove out of the parking lot, and prepared herself for the hell she knew was to be at the precinct.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle**

**This is my first fan-fic so I really appreciate all reviews, feedback, follows, and all that jazz. Thanks!**

There's only so much 90's a person can take before 7:00 in the morning and Alexis Castle had reached her limit, 6 episodes into the Nanny. When the television guide proved to be unhelpful Alexis found herself at Kate's DVR. Her thumb hovered over the button, unsure of what secrets lurked inside. A lot can be discovered about a person from their taste in television. When she did enter, Alexis was met with a vast array of movies and TV shows, ranging from sci-fi to soaps. The young girl took note that Kate had the good ones, Star Wars, Hitchcock, Temptation Lane, Firefly, even a couple con movies mixed in with the Disney classics. Kate's Disney collection both surprised and impressed Alexis. She'd never imagined Kate to be a 'curl up on the couch with a glass of wine and the Little Mermaid playing in the background' kind of girl, but then again, how well did she really know Kate? Nikki Heat was a fan of those movies, apparently Detective Beckett did too. Then Alexis saw it. Towards the bottom of the screen it hid, but she saw it. Kate watched Nebula 9. _Oh_, Alexis thought _if Dad were her he'd have a field day._ Then it hit her. He wasn't there. He was in the hospital. Tired of television, Alexis turned it off and left the couch. She didn't want to think about that. In search of a bookshelf, Alexis set off, needing something to busy her mind.

When Alexis found one, a giant one, she ran her fingers over the spines of hundreds of books Kate owned. The Russian literature didn't surprise her; it was more of the vast mystery section that caught her attention. Alexis's fingers paused momentarily over her father's 26 novels sitting on the shelf, all hardcover, with worn pages and in order by publication. Kissed and Killed had a bookmark so Alexis stopped and looked inside. The marker was on the dedication page, along with her father's signature. Kate waited for Rick to sign her book. She's known Kate to be a fan, but she never knew how big. Alexis read what Rick wrote, tears brimming in her eyes, and plopped down in the nearest chair; feet tucked underneath her, and dove into her father's words, a little reading before she went to visit him.

* * *

Ryan and Esposito entered a near silent precinct, only to find a half-awake Beckett pouring over a pile of files and six empty Styrofoam coffee cups sitting next to her. The boys, not having made themselves known yet, went over to Karpowski's desk and motioned to Beckett.

"She was here before I was. I've been keeping her coffee levels up but she won't go near Castle's mug. It's just sitting in the sink in the break room. Won't even look at the espresso machine. This must be hell for her. I'm a little worried she's going to run herself into the ground." The trio stared as Beckett slumped in her chair.

"Thanks," Esposito said. "We'll take care of the coffee now."

"No problem," Karpowski replied. "Just find the son-of-a-bitch, for both of them."

Ryan and Espo went into the break room in silence. Ryan started on the coffee while Espo rinsed out Beckett's mug. Ryan did his best to make her coffee the same way Castle did but it wasn't exact. He carried her cup out of the break room, while Espo trailed behind with his own mug.

He set it down on her desk, right where Castle usually put it. Kate's eyes flew to the coffee, then to Ryan. The hope in her expression melted away and the disappointment was evident. She had been hoping that it was all a nightmare and that Castle would strut in and do what Ryan had just done. But it wasn't, and she had real work to do.

Espo went to the other side of her desk and pulled up a chair.

"What time did you get here Kate?" he asked softly. She sighed, knowing if she lied they'd find out.

"Around 6:15."

"What time did you go to bed last night?" Ryan questioned.

"I got a good night sleep if that's what you're asking."

"Don't lie," Espo piped in, "or I'll send Lanie on your ass. How long were you at the hospital?" He didn't even hesitate. They knew she would have visited Castle.

"About an hour," Kate winced, but then the corners of her mouth turning up at the memory of Rick wiggling his fingers.

"Beckett, are you kidding me? You're running on an hour of sleep and you think that's helping Castle? He doesn't want you to lose yourself over this." Espo sounded frustrated. Those damn tears sprung in Kate's eyes at the sting from Espo's words soaked in.

"Go take a nap on the break room couch. We'll wake you when the new captain gets here."

Begrudgingly, Kate did as she was told. She closed the door behind her and tried not to think about the case as much needed sleep enveloped her.

* * *

It was the same dream. Kate woke up to Ryan gently shaking her. Her eyes were stinging as he looked worriedly down at her.

"Sorry, Kev," she murmured.

"It's fine, Beckett."

"New captain here yet?"

"Not yet."

"How long was I asleep?"

" 'Bout an hour. I came in to get a coffee and you were tossing, turning, and sweating. You kept mumbling Castle's name, Kate." She looked down. "Hey, we're all worried about him." She nodded. "Try to get a little more rest."

"Thanks Ryan," she whispered, laying her head back down on the couch.

* * *

Esposito came in forty-five minutes later to find a wide awake Beckett drinking a glass of water.

"Yo, Beckett. New captain has arrived. She's calling everyone into the bullpen. We gotta watch out for this one. They call her 'Iron Gates'." Kate nodded, gave a small uh-oh and followed Espo out.

All of the detectives and uniforms were gathered outside Montgomery's office, listening intently to Iron Gates speak. Kate was only able to pick up bits of the speech.

"Gates…my precinct…dilatant writers playing cop…some changes," was all Kate could comprehend. Her mind soon drifted and became flooded with memories of Montgomery. Gates's back to work is what snapped Kate back into reality. She found her way back to her desk and had just taken a seat when gates poked her head out of Roy's old office.

"Detective Beckett, a word please."

"Yes ma'am," she replied, getting up and entering the office.

"Ma'am is my mother. You will call me "Sir" or "Captain"."

"Yes sir."

"First off, let me say I'm sorry for the situation you've found yourself in." Kate felt herself relax a little. "Then let me say that there will be some changes being made to your team, in light of recent events. I hope you understand." Kate tensed.

"Changes?"

"No more civilians risking their lives by shadowing you."

Kate paused and let the words sink in. Unfortunately she understood.

"I understand, sir," Kate replied. Gates looked pleasantly surprised.

"Honestly, given your reputation with Mr. Castle, I would have expected more of a fight."

"And there would have been, a week ago, but today I feel the same way. It's too dangerous, for him and us."

"Well that's good to hear detective. Now get back to work."

"Thanks you sir."

At her desk Beckett released a long sigh. It still hurt to think Castle wouldn't be following her anymore. She thought back on all the times he proved to be surprisingly helpful, that smile creeping across her mouth.

"Beckett, we got something," Ryan called to her from across the bullpen, breaking her daze.

"What is it?" She questioned hopefully.

Ryan and Esposito began filling her in on their latest development, when her phone rang.

"Beckett."

"Kate!" Alexis squealed through the line. "He's awake. The hospital just called. Dad woke up. Grams and I are on our way. Come soon!" Beckett was out of her chair, one arm through her jacket sleeve, and headed towards the elevator are "he's awake".

"Alright Alexis, I'll be right there," Kate said before hanging up. Espo and Ryan, after hearing only half of the conversation followed Beckett to the elevator with puzzled expressions.

"Is Castle alright?" Espo asked concerned.

"Yeah," Kate replied smiling. "He's awake."

"We're going to stay. Make sure you call us with how he's doing," Ryan piped in.

"Got it Ryan, I'll be back," she said as the elevator doors closed in front of her. Espo turned to Ryan.

" Bro, I haven't seen her that excited to see someone in a long time."

"Me either. I wonder how Josh feels about all of this."

"Dude, I don't care. If he gets in the way of these two anymore, I'm gonna pound his ass."

"How she's been acting over Castle, maybe they're not even together anymore."

"Man I hope so, but my threat still stands. Let's get back to work."


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. If I did, there would be a new episode every day and no commercials.**

_Drama in this chapter. I REALLY love reviews. Happy reading!_

* * *

Kate decided against driving her Cruzer and took a cab instead, preferring to avoid hospital parking. Her money was clutched in her hand throughout the entire drive, ready to rush out of the car. To their luck Alexis, Martha, and Kate arrived at the hospital at the same time. The trio practically sprinted through the doors and to the visitor's center where they were met with a grim looking attendant.

"Family only," said the wrinkled woman, eyeing Kate, after they'd asked for passes. Kate opened her mouth to speak but the woman cut her off. "Family only," the woman said again curtly, emphasizing every syllable.

"She _is_ family," Alexis chimed in, reached for Kate's hand and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

"Very well then," the woman sighed, giving the three of them passes to enter.

Alexis and Martha entered the room first, followed by Kate, and were greeted by a wide eyed, smiling, Richard Castle. Kate couldn't help but smile as his daughter rushed into his arms, minding the injuries. Kate stood in the corner watching the reunion. Martha's eyes were shining with unshed tears as she pressed a kiss to her son's hair.

"Alexis, let's go into the hall for just a minute," Martha whispered." Alexis nodded and followed her, winking at Kate on the way out. Kate took that as her chance. Over the three days Rick was unconscious she'd come up with hundreds of things to say to him when he woke up. In that moment, she desperately wanted to hear him laugh.

"Good news Castle, it looks like I won't have to hide your porn collection after all."

There was a long pause. The smirk that went along with Kate's words slowly faded at Rick's silence. He looked at Kate in the most unusual way. It was a distant stare that made Kate uncomfortable.

"Umm…Castle?" she said with some degree of uncertainty. "Castle, did you hear what I said?"

Uh…yeah…of course I did. May I ask…who are you?" Rick finally asked his brow furrowed with worry. Not the reaction Kate was hoping for. Her eyes widened as the blood obviously drained from her face. Under the dim hospital lights Beckett could have easily been mistaken for a vampire.

"You better be joking Castle," Kate whispered hoarsely, not wanting to accept the nightmare.

"I'm sorry; I really don't know who you are." An awkward silence filled the room. "Umm….maybe…your name would help." Kate inhaled deeply before giving him her name. It seemed like an eternity before Kate's fears were confirmed. Rick shook his head from side to side, eyes turned downward. It was evident to Kate Castle was truly _trying_ to remember but that nothing rang a bell.

Rick opened his mouth to profess another apology but she would not allow it. Mixed emotions cluttered her heart. It was as if she was back in that alley, hearing her mother had been killed: anger, confusion, sadness, loneliness, hope it was all a lie. She could not handle that moment again. She escaped into the hall, restraining the urge to slam the door behind her. She rested her back against the wall and fought the tears in her eyes. Martha and Alexis found her a few moments later.

"Kate, dear," Martha whispered, "what's wrong?"

"Castle doesn't remember me," Kate muttered in disbelief. The ladies eyes widened.

"He doesn't remember you," Alexis repeated. She grabbed Kate and her grandmother's hands and pulled them into the room. She looked to her father. "Dad? Do you know who this is?"

"Well, her name is Kate, but I don't know anything else. Why is she here?" he asked. "And where's Gina?"

"She's Kate. You two have known each other for the past three years and why would Gina need to be here?" Rick looked at his daughter quizzically.

"Gina and I are married. That's why she should be here but instead I get a woman I don't know. This is ludicrous!" His voice was raised and the heart monitor was speeding up.

"Richard," Martha said slowly, "what year is it?"

"2008?" he replied slowly.

"Alexis, get a nurse. Richard, you need to relax." Martha was speaking but Rick's eyes were on Kate. Alexis left the room and Rick took a moment to look over Kate. She was standing in the back of the room, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. Rick took note of her stunning features and the surging level of attraction he felt towards her but pushed those feelings down at the remembrance he was married. There was something about her, something that felt familiar, but he just couldn't grasp it.

"What year is it?" he questioned, obviously not relaxing. Martha opened her mouth to speak but Kate but her off.

"I think we should wait for the doctor to come in before we answer any questions like that. You were just shot Rick, you should calm down."

" Whoa, whoa, whoa, I was shot? That's why I'm here? I assumed I was in a car accident."

"Again, let's wait for the doctor," Kate said dropping the subject. The three sat in silence as they waited for Alexis to return with a doctor. Kate refused to make eye contact with Rick but his eyes never left her figure.

After a few awkward minutes Alexis returned with a doctor. The doctor was young, handsome, and kept sneaking glances over at Kate, none of which went unnoticed by Castle or Alexis. He introduced himself as Dr. Fray.

"Mr. Castle," Dr. Fray began, "I hear your having some problems remembering. I am going to ask you a couple questions and I need you to answer them to the best of your knowledge. Ladies," he said referring to Kate, Alexis, and Martha, "please do not prompt him in anyway and we'll see how much he knows." Everyone in the room slowly nodded. "Mr. Castle what is your full name?"

"Richard Edgar Castle." The doctor paused and scribbled his answers his patient folders.

"How old are you?"

"35." Rick's answers to the doctor's questions sounded confident to a majority of the room, but Kate caught the slight waver in his tone, as he was then unsure of everything.

"What are your mother and daughter's names?"

"Martha and Alexis."

"Are you married or single?"

"I'm married to Gina Cowell, who really should be here." Rick found his mother's worried eyes and Kate felt a pang of hurt. He loved _her_, he wasn't married.

"What is your occupation?"

"I am a best-selling mystery novelist," Rick said with a pretentious tone. Kate took note in how he no longer bragged about his success or the fact it rarely came up.

"What do you do in your free time?"

"I write, play laser tag with Alexis, and stuff like that."

"What year is it?"

"2008."

"And do you know who that woman is?" the doctor said, motioning to Kate.

"No."

Everyone watched as Kate's face fell.

"Now Rick," the doctor started again, "this is going to be hard to hear but there are a few gaps in your memory that we need to clear up."

"Okay…" Rick said slowly, his eyelids obviously heavy.

"Wait!" Kate shouted in desperation. All eyes turned to her after her little outburst. "Sorry, that was…loud. I was just thinking that Rick should rest up before we dump all of this on him. He looks exhausted and it will be a lot to take in."

"No, I'm okay. I can…" Rick started but his eyes found Kate's, who's narrowed into their signature glare. Rick's mouth shut mid-sentence, by what seemed to him as a reflex. There was something so familiar behind her eyes; he knew he should stop talking.

"Alexis, don't you agree?"

"Yeah, Kate's right Dad. It'll be a lot to take in. Relax a little and we'll be here when you wake up," Alexis said. She bent down and kissed her father on the cheek. Kate smiled at the girl and then down at Rick.

"Let's give him a minute. Alexis and Martha, can you come for a walk with me? Rick we'll be here when you wake up." Kate followed Martha and Alexis out of the hospital room. In the doorway she snuck a quick glance back to the doctor who was putting medication into Rick's IV to help him sleep. Her eyes couldn't help but meet Ricks. There was a similarity in the meeting but something so foreign. Kate turned around and walked out, leaving a dazed Richard Castle in his hospital bed.

* * *

The three walked down the hallway in silence. They strolled until they found a coffee machine and each poured a cup. It was Alexis who finally broke the silence.

"Kate, why did you insist Dad rest before we fill in his memory blanks? Is there something you don't want him to remember?"

Kate looked at the girl for a minute, her eyebrows knit together.

"Well, I was just thinking, what if we didn't try to jog his memory?"

"What do you mean dear?" Martha asked after having been quiet for some time.

"This is probably going to sound bad and I would totally understand if you both disagree but if we don't want Rick to shadow me anymore, why don't we just tell him he never started." Kate let the words just spill out of her mouth. They tasted like vinegar but needed to be expressed. Deep down she truly thought it was the best for the both of them.

"He never started?" Alexis questioned, unsure of what Kate was saying.

"Yeah, we would never tell him he was shadowing me in the first place so then he would never come back. I could just say I'm a good family friend. That way he can't fight us into coming back and he's not in danger."

"You want us to_ lie_?" Martha clarified. Kate nodded.

"How would we explain Ryan and Esposito and Lanie?"

"We tell him they are my friends that became his. We could even say he shadowed me for one case, to make some of the pieces fit better. And we could remind him of moments the three of you shared," there was a long pause as the hardness of what she was about to say soaked in, "just not moments he and I shared. What do you think?"

Martha and Alexis stared at each other, each thinking the same thing.

"And if he regains his memory completely?" Martha wondered.

"We apologize but tell him it was for the best."

"Grams…I think we should do it," she added hesitantly, worried about her father's reaction if he found out they'd lied but knowing it was for the best.

"I do too."

Kate let out a sigh of relief and shared smiles with the other ladies. Putting her coffee cup down on the counter, Kate pulled them into a hug for comfort. Martha, Alexis and Kate especially knew what had to happen. As much as it pained them, the girls knew they had to do it for Castle's safety. After they released each other, Alexis broke the moment with a soft demand.

"Then let's get back before he wakes up."

"I hope you're right about this Kate," Martha said.

"I do too," Kate whispered as Martha and Alexis were walking back to Rick.

* * *

_I know this is another amnesia fic but I hope I'm going to try and keep it more original. It will be good, promise. Keep reading and review! Thanks!_


	6. Chapter 6

**_A/N: First off, let me apologize profusely for my awful updating. This chapter was incredibly difficult to start but it sparked some cool ideas so the next few should come quickly. Again, I am sorry. Happy reading!_**

_It hurt all over. His muscles were crying out for him to relax but he wasn't even moving. He was just lying on a soft bed of grass, staring up at a dark and starless sky. A soft haze settled around him making his environment unclear. Overcome with a sense of confusion and urgency he tried to turn his head to survey his surroundings but shots of pain rippled through his body, forcing him to stop. He squeezed his eyes shut, clenched his jaw, and listened to his own shallow breathing. Then a soft, feminine voice came from nowhere. It began calling his last name. "Castle. Castle," it called. He recognized it immediately but could not match it with a name or a face. His eyes still closed, he felt a hand feather across his jaw and run through his hair. Pressure shot through his chest. He cried out in pain but then the pressure. The voice continued to call, but softer, more like a whisper in his ear. He felt hot breath against his ear and his eyes flew open. His brilliant blue eyes mingled with vibrant hazel ones, but the rest of the face was blurry. However, he knew the eyes. He didn't know whose they were but there was an overwhelming familiarity behind them. He watched in wonder as green swirled with brown and flecks of gold swam through them both. He loved those eyes. They slowly grew brighter and brighter; the next thing Rick knew was he was staring up at the white hospital ceiling._

* * *

Rick was groggy. And sore. And his head was pounding. Yet he still wanted to get up. With scarce remembrance of his situation, he slowly turned his head from side to side to gain a better vantage of the room. His daughter and mother were sitting in chairs adjacent to his bed, unaware that he was awake. Alexis sat with her nose in a thick book and Martha absent-mindedly flipped through the pages of a fashion magazine. Rick took notice of the changed in both women. Alexis looked older, much more defined, more like a woman, much to Rick's dismay. Her hair was longer, too. His mother, on the other hand, hadn't aged a bit. Her hair was as red as ever, her clothes as vibrant and gaudy, her wrinkles barely visible. Rick wondered if there had been some kind of Botox or plastic surgery he'd been tricked into paying for. Despite the numerous distractions in the room, Rick's thoughts ultimately revolved around Kate.

Kate sat alone in a chair on the opposite side of the room, she slumped in her seat, staring at the heart monitor attached to Rick, while swirling a necklace with an engagement ring between her fingers. Rick felt an eerie sense of deja vu at the sight of the ring. He didn't know exactly how but he knew the ring wasn't hers. Kate's eyes were rimmed red and he could tell she was fighting back tears, although it wasn't obvious. The realization hit him. It had been her hazel eyes and her voice that filled his subconscious. Rick grew lost in the thought that there was an overwhelming sense of familiarity yet he could not remember her name.

It was about five minutes later when Rick feigned an awakening. Kate took a sip of the coffee that had been sitting next to her and smirked into the mug, knowing he'd been awake and watching her. Rick gave her a quirked eyebrow after catching her smile but quickly turned his attention to the other women in the room.

"So are you all ready to fill me in now?" he slurred, still a little groggy.

"Yes, but let's wait for the doctor, Richard." But as Martha finished her sentence the doctor entered the room.

"Talk about timing," Kate whispered to herself and Rick, overhearing, smiled.

"Welcome back Mr. Castle. It's time to have a hard conversation. We are going to fill you in on a few of your memory gaps." Rick nodded as the doctor spoke. "Now do you want to hear them all at once, or one at a time, easing you into it."

"Let's go all at once," Rick replied, "like a Band-Aid."

Kate laughed. "Castle, last time you took off a Band-Aid it took us fifteen minutes because you had to soak it in water first."

"It was the cloth kind!"

The group's eyes widened, as Kate continued to laugh and Rick watched in awe.

"Richard, do you remember that?" Martha asked wearily.

"Ummmm...no. Not really. That was just the first thing that came into my head. I don't really remember the situation." He looked over at the doctor with worried eyes.

"Don't worry. It is completely normal. In fact, good even. It means you have a higher likelihood of regaining your memory, completely. Now let's get started, shall we?" Rick nodded. "First off, the year is 2011 not 2008." The doctor paused to watch Rick's reaction. Rick simply continued to nod, his facial expression unchanged. "You are 39 years old.

"Next, you are not married to Gina Cowell. The two of you divorced around three years ago." That time Rick's face fell.

"Oh," he muttered. "That's why she's not here."

"Yes, sorry for the inconvenience."

"No, it's not your fault. You didn't divorce her." Rick mumbled.

"Let's carry on. You are still a bestselling mystery author." Rick nodded his face still solemn.

"But, you killed of Derrick Storm and started a new series. Nikki Heat," Alexis chimed in. Rick's face perked up a little.

"Really? How's that doing?"

"Wonderfully. It's based off of Detective Beckett, in fact," Martha interrupted quickly. Rick gave Kate a look of astonishment. She smiled at the ground, nodding, with a growing blush appearing on her checks.

"How did we meet?" Rick directed at Kate, and then it hit him. "Oh Gosh! We're dating aren't we? And I don't remember you. I don't know what to say." Kate couldn't contain it. She looked at his genuine concern but still could not fight the laughter bubbling inside her. Martha and Alexis joined in. Rick looked at the three of them with bewilderment. "What's so funny?"

"Calm down Castle. We are not dating. We are just friends. We met because there was a serial killer killing people the way you do in your books and you helped with the case. After you left, we stayed in touch," Kate explained. Martha and Alexis noticed how she left out a few details.

"I was helpful?"

"For that one case yes," Kate answered hesitantly

"And I didn't help with anymore cases?" Castle's eyes widened, bewildered that he did not insist on helping anymore.

"Umm... once or twice, but really just some harebrained theories that were way off. If we'd have lunch, you'd usually ask about my case and I'd fill you in and you gave me the theories, but not much beyond that," Kate lied and swallowed hard. Her throat felt tight as she forced the dry words out. She knew the plan rested on her story.

"That sounds fun."

"You have no idea." Kate grew silent and withdrawn as the doctor filled Rick in on the rest of his memory gaps. Martha and Alexis listened intently to the doctor as he told Rick the major things he'd forgotten. In the back of both of their minds was a little voice telling them Rick wouldn't agree. They did their best to ignore the voice, overpowering it, saying lying is the best for him.


	7. Chapter 7

**_A/N: This chapter's a little short, but I promise to make it up to you. And look, I'm getting better at my updating. :) Happy Reading!_**

**Two Weeks Later**

"We have NOTHING," Kate sighed, frustrated, tossing the case-file back on to her desk. "What am I supposed to tell Castle? He's coming home today and we have absolutely NO leads." Kate ran her fingers through her hair and flicked her glare back and forth between Esposito and the murder board. Her head was pounding as she paced back and forth in front of the array of photos that mocked her, and the loud murmur of other cops on the floor did not help her migraine.

"I know you're upset Beckett, but…" Esposito started, but Kate cut him off before he could continue. Espo, although a little annoyed, understood Kate's frustration. He himself was tired, worried for Castle and ready for the case to be solved.

"You're damn right I'm upset. He got shot over me and we have no idea who is behind it. How am I supposed to face him?"

"Really, Kate? You need to relax. Castle would understand more than anybody being at a dead end. Just chill."

"How would he understand if he can't_ remember_, Espo?"

Esposito sighed, and opened his mouth to retort, but Gates poked her head out of her office and called Beckett in. Beckett obliged and shuffled into the room. Esposito glanced over at Ryan at his desk, who had been listening into the whole exchange. Ryan merely nodded solemnly and Esposito went back to his desk to check on the leads they didn't have.

* * *

"Detective Beckett, I understand you and your team are not any farther into the investigation."

"No sir, we have unfortunately hit numerous dead ends. There hasn't been any progress regarding the shooter either, but we are working as hard as we can. I am sure we will come up with something."

"And how long do you expect me to keep the investigation open?"

"Excuse me?" Beckett countered, extremely stunned.

"It's been a month now and there have not been any new leads, with new homicides piling up through those doors. How long do you expect those people to tread water? There have been good people on this case and I understand it was close to you but it's time to put it to a close. There are other families, other victims."

"But what about Castle? What about the shooter coming after me again?" She took a step towards Gates' desk, unsure of her next move.

"As I understand Mr. Castle doesn't remember anything of the day, after getting shot to save you. As upset as he may be, he will survive. As for the shooter, if it's been a month and he has not tried again, I seriously doubt he will. Understood?" Beckett clenched her jaw, and bit the tip of her tongue to keep from screaming.

She inhaled deeply and replied, "Yes sir." Turning quickly on her heels, Kate started to leave but Gates called her name again. She turned around, fire in her eyes.

"Beckett, take the next two days off. You've been working non-stop on that case. Come back with a clear head and a fresh set of eyes for the new cases you're going to tackle."

"Alright sir thanks," Kate murmured coldly and flew out of the office.

* * *

"She's really making us stop investigating?" Ryan asked over a cup of coffee in the break room.

"Yeah," Kate sighed, still disbelieving.

"That's B.S. Kate," Esposito added.

"I know."

"Do you know what you're gonna tell the Castle's?" Ryan wondered, getting a sharp jab in the side from Esposito.

"It's fine Espo. And no I have no idea what I'm going to tell them. Have either of you visited him yet?"

"Not yet," Esposito said. "I'm going to wait until he's settled until I mess with his head even more. Speaking of that, are you sure this whole lying thing is gonna fly?"

"Honestly… no. I just don't want to put him in danger."

"If you're not sure about it, why are you doing it?" Ryan questioned.

"I care about him too much for his life to be put on the line just because of me. I feel like he would do the same thing if he were in my shoes."

"I don't know about that, but what happens if Castle gets his memory back completely?"

"He'll be pissed," Espo chimed in.

"Not helping Javi, but probably. I'm willing to take that chance if he will stay out of the precinct afterwards, you know, stay out of harm's way. And you two promised to go along with it."

"We did, but if Castle is pissed at us too, it's on you."

"It's all on me," Kate whispered into her coffee cup, emptying it. "Refills?"

"Naw," Espo said.

"I never thought I'd say this but I've had enough coffee this past month to last a lifetime," Ryan piped in.

"You comin' in tomorrow," Espo asked Kate.

"No, Gates gave me the next few days off."

"That's good. You look tired," Esposito commented.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room, each of the minds ruminating over different thoughts.

"So Castle's coming home today?" Ryan said, finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah. Martha and Alexis said he should be getting out around four thirty. Which reminds me, I got to go. I'll see you guys later." Kate scurried out of the room to go meet Martha, Rick and Alexis at the hospital. Her mind overflowing with worried thoughts about the case, telling Alexis, and the whole situation with Rick.

"I'm worried about her."

"Me too bro…me too." The two watched as she walked to the elevator, concern etched across their faces.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: Okay, before you bombard me with pitchforks, saying how I promised to update sooner, let me inform you that I gave this to my editor LAST Wednesday and got it back yesterday, so blame her not me. Next, let me tell you this is my longest (and favorite) chapter so far and I hope that makes up for it. Happy reading!**_

When Kate arrived at Rick's hospital room she was met with a frazzled Martha who was going over the papers for Rick's release. Kate smiled at the woman and was met by a simple head nod. Alexis stood across the room next to a perky blonde nurse, who was giving her instructions on how to take care of Rick. Alexis's brow was furrowed as she listened intently, nodding slowly. Kate paused and took in the nurse. She was blonde and pretty and the exact kind of girl the old Rick would flirt with. Kate felt jealousy surge inside her, remembering it was the 'old Rick' she was with. Forcefully, she pushed her emotions down and continued to scan the room. The subject of the girl's conversation was sitting upright in his hospital bed. Rick smiled at Kate when their eyes finally met and Kate returned the smile with equal fervor. However, Kate did notice the smile Rick gave her was the smile he gave everyone else. He no longer remembered the smile he reserved especially for her. It was a smile Kate hadn't seen in weeks. It was a smile Kate missed profoundly. There had been no memory jolts for Rick in the prior weeks and Kate couldn't decide if that was a good or bad thing. Little things she loved about him were gone, not to mention the fact he was no longer in love with her, but he was safe and that meant more to Kate than anything.

Rick looked at Kate with a puzzled expression, and Kate realized she'd been staring. Blushing, she quickly turned her gaze to the floor, nodding her apology. Rick merely chuckled and watched as she joined the conversation with Alexis and the nurse. When Alexis, once noticing Kate, gave her a quick hug and Rick smiled like an idiot while he watched the entire exchange. A new feeling blossomed in his chest at the sight of Alexis and Kate together. He didn't know exactly what it was but he knew he could get used to it.

Kate tossed glances at Rick while he pretended to listen to the old, grey nurse who was giving him instructions over his release. His head was nodding but his eyes were wandering, occasionally meeting Kate's, who's turned away quickly, making Rick laugh.

When they were finally ready to leave the doctor bid them farewell and the perky blonde nurse rolled Rick's wheelchair to the front doors before Alexis took over. Kate watched as the nurse whispered in Rick's ear and slipped him a scrap of paper. Rick looked elated and smiled at the nurse. Kate's face grew red with anger. Alexis averted her eyes but Kate shot an unnoticed death glare at the audacious nurse. She had half a mind to rip the paper from Rick's hand and remind him he loved her, but that wasn't going to help anyone. Instead she turned away from the two and sped up to walk with Martha.

She sighed deeply in front of the woman, who said, "Don't worry Kate. Once he gets to know you that Rick will disappear. It did the last time." Kate relaxed just a little but still refused to turn around. She pushed through the hospital doors and was blinded by the bright, flashing lights of newspaper photographers.

"Detective Beckett! Detective Beckett! What can you tell us about Mr. Castle's condition? Is it true he lost his memory? Why are you with the family? Are you two in a relationship? Detective Beckett!" Kate stood wide eyed as a jumble of photographers snapped her picture and shouted questions at her. Kate made no attempt to respond, instead stood awestruck in the doorway.

"Come on dear," Martha said wrapping an arm around Kate and pulled her through the hole in the crowd hospital security had made for them, and into a town car a few feet away. Kate slid into the back seat, still stunned and watched as cameras bombarded Alexis and Rick as she rolled her father to the car. One of the nurses helped seat Castle next to Kate in the car and Martha and Alexis slid in next, shutting the door to the array of flashing lights.

"Man, it's been a while since that's happened," Alexis muttered.

"Kate, you can blink now," Martha prodded.

"Right, sorry," Kate said, her eyes still wide. "That was just…wow. I've never seen so many cameras."

"That usually happens when you're with someone famous," Rick said cockily, glancing at Kate.

"No…it doesn't. I've known you for three years and there have never been that many cameras near you…ever," she replied.

"Really?" Rick asked, looking at Alexis.

"Since you've met Kate, you've kind of renounced your 'playboy' title, Dad," she responded.

"It's true, kiddo."

"Oh…" was all Rick said.

The car continued through New York traffic, reaching the lost almost a half an hour later. Alexis and Martha guided Rick out of the car, while Kate stood idly on the sidewalk, waiting if they needed any help. Successfully they got Rick onto the sidewalk, in only a little pain, and rolled him up to an expecting apartment.

* * *

Martha unlocked the door and the party stepped inside the Castle loft. Castle's eyes scanned the room as Alexis pushed him into the living room. Everything was in its same place, not because they had cleaned it but because no one spent a lot of time there. Martha was usually out with friends and Alexis had begun to spend a great deal of time at Kate's apartment.

"Well it looks the same," Rick commented.

"Yeah, we never really changed the anything," informed Alexis. She watched as Rick picked up a family photo from a side table.

"That's good."

The ladies watched as Rick surveyed the room from his wheelchair, and noticed how his eyelids slowly started to fall.

"Come on Dad, you look really tired. You should take a nap."

"Yeah, okay. Room still in the same place?"

"Yup. Let's go," Alexis said with a slight chuckle, pushing her father's wheelchair into his room. "I'll be out in a minute," she called over her shoulder. When father and daughter disappeared from view Martha turned to Kate.

"Thank you, Kate, for all of you help, but I suppose you are ready to leave." Martha looked at Kate with tired but thankful eyes, placing a hand on her shoulder.

"Actually," Kate started, "I'd rather stay, if you don't mind."

"Well, don't you have work in the morning?"

"Gates decided to give me the next two days off, so it's no problem." Kate held back her sarcastic tone, trying not to show Martha how unhappy with Gates she really was.

"Fantastic, then! I'm afraid the guest room is taken, but the couch is very comfortable and I'm sure we can find you pillows and blankets." There was a pause. "To be honest, the first time you spent the night I expected it to be in Richard's room," Martha laughed, giving Kate an obvious wink. Kate's eyes grew wide at Martha's statement, but the woman continued to give Kate a 'knowing' look.

"No Martha, we're just friends," Kate said, throwing in a laugh that sounded completely fake. Martha gave Kate a 'look' but before she could say anything Alexis appeared.

"So he's out," Alexis said, walking out of Rick's room. "What do you guys want for dinner?"

"Ummm...I don't really care. I'm not all that hungry. You two can decide," Kate responded.

Martha and Alexis exchanged a glance, not unnoticed by Kate.

"What?" she asked. Alexis shook her head.

"It's nothing."

"What?" Kate repeated, a little more forcefully.

"Well dear, it's just since Richard was shot you seem to have...lost some weight," Martha explained.

"Oh," Kate sighed, glancing at herself. "Yeah I guess I have. It's just because I've been so caught up in the case, I guess food hasn't really been a priority."

"What about sleep?" Martha asked. "You look exhausted."

"I guess that's taken a backseat, too." She admitted.

"Kate," Alexis started, "we know you care about Dad, but please don't kill yourself trying to solve his case. You're more important to us." Kate felt a pang in her chest. It was something she had not felt for about a month. Warmth? Happiness? But how could she be happy? Her case was put on hold. Kate rejected the pang and realized it was time.

"Thanks." Kate smiled but then crinkled her forehead. "Since you brought up the case, I have something I need to tell you. Gates, she told us to stop 'officially' investigating. We haven't had any new leads in weeks and I don't know what other avenues there are," her eyes began to water, "and I feel like I'm letting your family down but we have nothing. And I promise not to stop looking into this but officially the case is cold." She finished, inhaled deeply, and waited to be thrown forcefully from the apartment. Instead, Alexis grabbed her and pulled her into a fierce hug. Kate nearly lost it but she knew she couldn't. Instead she held in her unshed tears and used it as an opportunity to rebuild herself. She's really missed being surrounded by people who loved her.

"You're not letting us down, Kate," she whispered into the detective's shoulder. "We know you've been doing absolutely all you can and maybe a little break would be beneficial; let you clear you head and come back with fresh eyes.

"Ya know, your dad always said you were a genius." The girls pulled apart smiling.

"Now time for food!" Martha cut in. "I'm thinking Chinese."

"Chinese sounds great," Kate said and Alexis agreed. Martha got on the phone and proceeded to call. Kate noticed her stomach's immediate response at Chinese. She noted those days when the case ran late and she ended up eating only a snickers bar and coffee; her stomach was ready for a real meal.

"Oh, you might want to order some pan fun for Rick."

"But his favorite is Mu go gi pan," Alexis countered.

"Well, a couple weeks ago, before the incident, he swiped mine by mistake and proclaimed it as his new favorite. I swear he talked about it for the rest of the day," Kate remembered fondly. Alexis caught the sparkle in her eye.

"Okay then dear," Martha said finishing the order.

"Let's get a movie," Alexis said looping her arm through Kate's and pulling her to the couch.

"Genre?"

"Feel-good," Alexis said definitely. "Maybe romantic."

"Any preference?"

"No Nicholas Sparks."

"Deal. Disney?"

"Yes."

"Princess?"

"Why not?"

"New?"

"Old."

"Agreed."

"The Little Mermaid?"

"Always."

The girls laughed as Alexis put the disc in the player and gathered as many pillows and blankets as they could before plopping down on the couch. Martha sat in the chair next to the couch and the three focused on the drama onscreen. Commentary was given, mostly by Alexis and lip-syncing occasionally occurred. The arrival of food forced the only break at the beginning but it was brief. The trio became lost in the film as they ate. Kate found her eyelids slowly growing heavy. Alexis eventually curled into Kate's side and the warmth and comfort the girl provided lulled her to sleep. Alexis managed to stay up long enough to hear her grandmother announce his retirement but not long after did she fall asleep on Kate.

* * *

Rick couldn't sleep anymore. The growling in his stomach mixed with the aching pain coursing through his body forced him awake. He glanced at the clock, realizing the ungodly hour and the fact no one would be awake to help him. He carefully maneuvered himself out of bed and into his wheelchair before setting off in search of food. Quietly, Rick rolled himself into the living room and took note of the figures on the couch. Alexis was practically on top of Kate, her face squashed against the woman's side, and snoring softly. Kate was curled against the side of the couch, her head resting on the armrest. Rick noted how peaceful she looked compared to when she was awake. Her features, still stunning, were softer, and her hair fell in light curls over her face. That feeling Rick had earlier in the hospital came back as he stared at them. The room was dark but their features were illuminated by the television screen. Unfortunately for Rick, that meant him bumping into a side table and having to bite his tongue in order to keep from yelling how he was really feeling. Alexis, after having heard the noise, woke up with a start and was relieved to see it was only her father.

"Dad, what are you doing up?"

"I'm starving, sweetie, but you go back to bed. I'll get it."

"No it's okay Dad, I will. I need to wait for my heart to stop pounding." Alexis climbed off of Kate, careful not to wake her and joined her father in the kitchen.

"What are you planning on feeding me?"

"We ordered Chinese."

"What did you get me?"

"You'll see," Alexis responded, putting the carton into the microwave. "Here," she said setting it in front of him as he sat at their dining room table.

"What is it? It's not my usual moo go gi pan."

"Just try it."

Rick looked at it quizzically but pick up a fork and picked up a piece. Tentatively, he brought it to his lips as Alexis stared at him in anticipation. She smiled as his eyes widened while he chewed.

"This is fantastic!" he exclaimed. "When did I start ordering this?"

"I don't know. Kate was with you. It is the order she gets and I guess you accidently grabbed hers and fell in love with it."

"Wow, she knows me really well, doesn't she."

Alexis smiled and thought hard for a moment.

"Yeah, I guess she does."

"I feel so bad, knowing nothing about her and she seems to know almost everything about me. Tell me about her."

"Honestly, I don't really know that much. You should learn them yourself. You did the first time and things worked out really well between the two of you." Alexis smiled, remembering the way her father always talked about his adventures with Kate. She knew he'd been in love with her but she wanted him to figure it out on her own.

"How do you not know much about her? You two seem like best friends."

"I don't know. This past month, we just have really been working together. Don't ask me to explain, Dad, because I don't even truly know. She's just good for us. You might not know it yet but she was great for you too."

"I wish I could remember." Alexis looked down at her hands guiltily and swallowed hard.

"You will, Dad. Now go back to bed." She gave him a pain pill and a glass of water after he finished his food, before rolling him back into his bedroom.


End file.
